Session 8

Transcript:

0:01

I don't think most of us realize how long it takes to heal from a physical injury or an illness to a trauma because the reality is, I don't think most of us are afforded the luxury of time.

0:17

It takes time to heal.

It takes time to reflect, time to process.

Those who can just take three days of bereavement and move on with their lives, they're not OK.

I don't care what they're telling you.

0:34

They're not OK.

And I think we need to see that.

And I just wanted to celebrate something for me, because this week I found peace, and peace is fleeting.

0:50

But I found it this week.

There wasn't anything happening and it was great.

I think we need to celebrate those wins.

We don't do that enough.

I know.

I know myself and I know my situation and finding peace is perfection.

1:13

I was able to set agendas for my days and accomplish them, but I didn't overwhelm myself.

I said no to the things I didn't want to do, and I said yes to the things that were just outside my comfort zone, things to make me feel a little on edge, but in a good way.

1:32

You know, we need that.

Finding peace is not the same as finding happiness.

I think happiness, it's overrated.

It's it's not a stable emotion.

It's about as stable as building a house at a cheese.

1:51

It's absurd.

It's not something to it's not an end goal, you know?

It's like anger.

It's the same what I mean, at least for me, when I'm thinking of happiness, I want it to be intense.

2:08

I want it to be a full body experience.

And that's just that's just not something that happens every day.

And I don't expect that.

I want peace, you know, like a puddle on a windless day with nothing happening.

2:27

Those are my goals.

So I just wanted to talk about that.

I had my parents in town and I spoke a little bit about the re emergence of my intrusive thoughts.

2:47

And I knew that when that happened that I needed some time.

I needed some time to just, you know, sit and stare at the wall, 'cause we need time to decompress, we need time to process, and most of us don't have that ability to do that.

3:09

And this week I felt really lucky to actually get to a point where I feel stable and it's amazing.

It's it's great.

The The flip side is like, I know that every day is different and that's fine, that's good.

3:31

I'm fine with every day being a roller coaster or different, but I do want to take time to appreciate.

When I have several days, I'm just peace.

It it feels good.

3:47

It feels good because I know in my situation it's always going to change.

I never know what tomorrow will bring.

But something that's funny that I've realized in my situation, having my sister missing and being faced with the unknown, nothing hits the same.

4:16

I may have addressed this before, but nothing hits the same and nothing really shakes me in the way that it used to because I know what it's like to just walk blindly into things, to just not know and accept it.

4:35

You know?

I think it's actually a really good skill.

I I don't recommend gaining this skill in the way that I have, but being comfortable with not knowing it's very useful.

4:57

And that being said, in regards to Sky's case, obviously there's nothing new and that's fine, that's good, that's a part of the piece.

But I did stumble on to two creators who did cover Sky's case, and I want to say thank you to them for bringing Sky's case to their audience and possibly a whole new audience.

5:23

And that was Beth Scary MUA and she's out of Madrid.

I love seeing when Sky's case is covered in a new language to reach a new audience.

The fact that Sky's case has reached, oh, I got a whole new country is amazing.

5:46

I've had another creator do it in Polish and another one in Italian, and I'm just.

I'm floored.

I just.

I can't thank them enough.

And I found hers on We're About to Scare.

6:03

I found hers on TikTok and on YouTube.

There was another creator, Haley Elizabeth, who covered Sky's case as well.

And both of these were makeup artists, I find.

I know that there's a whole genre of people covering true crime stories or missing people's stories and doing the makeup, and I I applaud them.

6:25

I did a TikTok video where I kind of tried that and I can't.

I can't do that.

So I give them credit.

Haley Elizabeth, I will admit, I watched that whole thing.

It was a little weird for me.

6:42

Most of the information was right, but there was a lot of like personal, I guess opinions kind of put in there.

And that's fine.

You know, like, I understand that people are going to interpret things the way they do and maybe see certain things through their perspective, and I find that interesting too.

7:08

Like, I don't.

If people want to know the truth, the source, I am source information.

So if you are here because of Haley Elizabeth, I'm so, so thankful.

But there were like a few things where I, you know, I can tell that it's through somebody else's perspective.

7:30

And I yeah, again, I find that really, I find it really interesting.

And that's something I do love about talking about Skye's case so publicly, other people's interpretations and how they view things, because it changes my perspective.

7:49

And I want to always stay as open as I can because there could be things that I'm overlooking and there's things that maybe I didn't, maybe I didn't give it enough thought.

So while they were while watching, that was weird and I'm probably not not going to watch it again.

8:13

I'm not going to correct it.

I am just thankful that there's so many people who now know about Skye's case.

It's huge, it's huge.

8:29

And I've had such a outpouring of support and I've had a lot of messages over the past like 2-3 weeks, more than I've like ever had.

And I haven't gotten back to all of them.

Some of them I'll actually address some here.

8:46

There were a lot of people writing in to me about the Akiyagara forest.

I think those were people from the Unfiltered stories if about 3 weeks ago while and that's fine.

9:05

So just to be clear, like the Unfiltered stories, it had this most views over on Facebook and I know most of those people don't follow me at TikTok so I know most of them are not clear on the whole story.

But yeah, I guess anything's possible, though it is in my my opinion that she did not go to the Akia Gar forest due to her location and where she ended up.

9:37

But again, what's interesting about Sky's case is the the unknown and the endless amount of variables and situations that Sky could have faced.

It's endless.

9:53

It's insane.

And every day I'm there's a bunch that I see again and again, but there's always something new and I think that's amazing to see.

I think at this point I have found the strength to actually go through and look at it and appreciate the time that people have taken to learn more about Sky's case and then come up with their own, their own thoughts.

10:23

And I think that is great.

I don't think, I don't think most people can get to this point.

If they are going through a similar case where they're comfortable putting it out there and comfortable taking in everybody else's thoughts, It's a lot, It's a lot of emotional energy that you're taking in.

10:47

Even though, like I'm just reading them, skimming them, if I'm being honest.

And that's where one of my boundaries is.

Sometimes I do.

I do not.

I I don't sit and stare at my phone and read all the comments.

11:08

Not in that way.

I can skim.

I can get the gist of things.

If something strikes me as different, then I'll take the time.

But there is.

I know how to protect myself in this, and that has taken time.

11:29

That has taken so much time, 15 years of time to to get to that point.

And let's be honest, like that is how long it takes.

And I think I think that's healthy and I think that's fine.

11:46

And I know everybody's journey in finding their peace is going to look different if nothing's the same.

I think the truest thing for me to do is to tell you my story, tell you sky story.

12:05

Because maybe you can relate, or maybe you can take little bits from it and find your own little bit of peace and celebrate that.

Because you deserve to celebrate that.

We all deserve that.

Yeah.

12:25

So I'll be going back to therapy on Monday.

As I have said before, I take I've taken this month off due to financial reasons and my parents visit.

So I'll be going back and then I will be recapping more of my sessions for you.

12:53

And yeah, things are good, things are good this week.

I hope that this carries on into forever and ever, but right now it's it's good.

13:09

It's really, really good.

And if you find yourself kind of on a downswing, I hope you know that it's not forever.

You know everything's going to be OK, And this has been therapy, notes Session 8.