Session 15
Transcript:
0:02
I'm going through this thing where I don't know how to start a podcast anymore.
I've been feeling the same way about social media in general.
I feel like something's off.
I'm just not flowing as well.
I think I'm just getting in my head about things.
0:20
But anyways, hi.
I hope everybody's doing good.
I feel like I'm doing pretty good today.
Other than just like not knowing how to function, if that, if you know what I mean.
But besides that, it's good.
I am finally back in California after spending a whole month in Connecticut.
0:41
We went for the holidays.
We knew it was going to be a long trip and you know, visiting family for the holidays can you know come with its ups and downs.
Overall it was good.
I love my family.
0:57
Well, you know, we stayed with them and there's always a lack of space and the tension of being in some of these space and without fail, any time I visit there's always some family event that's also going on.
And this time it was my grandmother being moved into a senior living facility.
1:18
And mainly it was unfortunately my mom had to shoulder a lot of the stress of that and it really did a number on her this time.
So there was the stress of that.
And then of course COVID and everybody being sick at one point or another.
1:37
Even the last day, the day we were actually supposed to leave, I came down with some fluid poisoning.
But luckily due to the weather, our flight was cancelled.
So we were able to reschedule.
I was able to recover and we were able to head out the next day.
So I'm finally in California again, about two days in and I'm just trying to get back to my life, I guess.
2:01
But I do have an update, an update that I actually could have gotten a week earlier if I had only checked my messages.
But you know, due to a different environment and being sick and just like having too many things happening, I completely missed the call.
2:20
And it wasn't until last night that I was trying to figure out what I was going to do today that I saw I had a voicemail.
So let's get into that.
I was on the phone this morning with the detective in Southington, and I have a bit of an update, so I wrote it down.
2:41
So I'm going to just kind of talk you through it.
So the detective got an e-mail from the the investigator at Interpol.
And just a side note, the investigator at Interpol, her name is also Megan.
2:57
So I always, I felt like that's been a good sign.
So Interpol has been trying to figure out how we can get the DNA from my mom in Southington, CT back over to Japan.
3:14
Because if you don't know, the DNA that my parents submitted back in 2008 is not able to be used in Japan's database due to the difference in technology and how they run their DNA.
Cool.
This would have been great to know.
3:30
I don't know, years ago, but here we are.
Can't change anything.
So right now they are trying to figure out if the Connecticut State lab could get the DNA, meaning like my mom could just go down to the police station in Southington and submit some DNA and then that will be submitted to the Connecticut State lab and then that would head over to Japan.
3:54
So they were trying to get the Connecticut State lab to connect with the lab in Hokkaido.
But guess what?
That's not feasible.
And do you know why?
Because there's no way to communicate.
Because they don't have a translator.
Like, isn't that?
4:11
Like, no.
Like, don't we have Google Apps for that?
When you like, have don't have the resources?
I'll pay for one, but yeah.
Anyways, so right now they're unable to communicate.
4:30
The other possible alternative was for my mom to go to a Japanese consulate or embassy here in the United States and cement the DNA there.
But guess what guys?
Japan did not agree to that.
4:50
So the police officer that I'm talking to was expressing his frustrations with this.
He's like, I don't understand.
It's so easy.
We just get a swab Is it like And he just didn't understand if it's maybe they extract different DNA markers or whatnot.
5:06
But it was it was funny for me to listen to his frustrations because I mean, they're my frustrations too.
But I think it's the, to put it bluntly, it's this American arrogance that we have meaning like, well, we have our way of doing things and this is a way to do things.
5:26
Why can't we do these things?
But when you're dealing with a whole other country, they have their own laws and their own rules.
And when they're being pushed in a certain direction, they're putting their foot down and they're like, no, it's our way or no way.
5:47
And that's kind of how it's always been.
In 2008, when my mom and I went there, they were very accommodating and welcoming to us, but we still were at the mercy of whatever their laws and rules were.
6:03
So it was funny to, like, witness somebody else, like, realizing those barriers and that frustration.
And I honestly couldn't help but laugh because I'm like, well, I know, but I'm glad that somebody else is understanding this and, like, going through it, like, in real time.
6:28
OK, So what else?
Interpol is now going to be kind of the go between, I think the detective is feeling a little overwhelmed and also the person that he's in communicate, he's in communication with at the Connecticut State lab is also overwhelmed with this.
6:48
So it is going up the chain of command and then from there whoever that person is going to be, it will be able to communicate hopefully with Interpol and then Interpol will communicate with Japan.
7:04
And yeah, that's where we're at still guys, more waiting initially, essentially, yes, more just more waiting.
So the one thing that is good because I think we've come to the realization that my mom and I are going to have to go to Japan.
7:27
Like there isn't going to be an easy work around.
I was hoping, like I've said before, maybe I haven't, but my mom is 70 and when I talked with her while I was visiting in Connecticut, I She's scared.
7:46
She's really scared to go.
She's scared to go.
And I don't think considering what she's going through with her own mother right now, it's not a great time for her.
It's a lot of stress.
And I honestly don't want her to be far in case anything does happen with the family.
8:03
So it would be great.
It would be honestly so good if she could just give the DNA here and then have that sent over to Japan.
But this is where we're at.
They're not really going to bend OR like change any rules for us.
8:21
It's just because to them, it's not necessary.
It's not important.
That being said, the thing that also is going to be happening if we do well, I mean, I guess essentially when we do go to Japan, it's going to be on our own time.
8:41
But it the one thing I'm really thankful for right now is the open dialogue that is going on that the detective in Southington is aware of the case, Interpol is aware of Sky's case, and Japan is actively also aware.
8:58
And that's what I need.
I know it's often, often times people are like why don't you just go?
Well, because the logistics of it are batshit crazy and it's fucking overwhelming to be just frank about it.
So the reassurance that I got from the detective is that when we go, he will help with the logistics.
9:21
They will.
The people in Japan who'll be taking the DNA will know that we will be there, that we are coming, and we'll set up a time.
And I know that seems, you know, like, of course you would do that.
But it's really, really hard to get everything lined up.
9:41
And that's basically why I've been doing it this way, because I want when my mom and I go to Japan, I want everybody to know that we're there.
You know, I want the the security and the safety of knowing that people know we are there.
10:04
There's a real importance of that to me and my family because because of what happened in 2008 and basically it's taken me since starting talking about Sky's case more on social media to make it known.
10:22
To get people to know about Sky's case.
I need people to know because when I mean because in 2008, basically we fell through the cracks after we left Japan.
It was just like over and done with, and it just felt like we were waiting and just waiting, but nobody came, nobody was rescuing us.
10:46
So these past two years of me talking about it is basically laying the groundwork of just making sure that people know, 'cause I, it's unacceptable in any other way at this point.
11:05
So the detective told me we're just going to have to wait a little bit.
He's waiting to get another e-mail back to see if there's anything that we can do, like to prevent my mom from having to make this trip.
11:22
She wants to go.
She does.
Actually, when we were talking about it, we were out for coffee.
And I was like, this has to happen, Like, we have to go back.
It's something I feel like that we both need foreclosure and The thing is if we were able to get the DNA just from just for my mom to like drop it off in Southington or whatnot, that wouldn't take any of the the heaviness of the situation off of me.
11:56
I myself am still planning to go to Japan this year hopefully, but my mom is really nervous about it.
12:12
When I was talking with her I just it it hit me so hard that she was scared about the travelling.
I think the pressure, the mental and physical pressure, emotional pressure that one goes through when you are going back to a place, to the place where you know her daughter was taken, her daughter remains or lives there or died there.
12:44
It's the whole UN unknowing the unanswered questions and then coming face to face with that.
It's one thing to avoid for like 15 years because you just feel so hopeless.
But when you're the possibility of going back to get answers or closure, it's that's actually hitting me right now just thinking about it.
13:15
It's heavy, you know, and I get that I'm ready to go, you know, I am.
And I think on this trip it's going to be, it's going to be good.
It's going to be really good.
My mother's other concern was the finances because she was afraid to tell my dad because the discusses the discussion of finances and just leaving the logistics, like it's something that she just doesn't want to discuss with him.
13:54
And there's, yeah, guys, there's layers to this.
It's it's not easy because as I've said before when you deal with a trauma and there's so many different people all experience all experiencing this at the same time, everybody experiences it different differently and they process differently.
14:14
So like in my in my family, it's nobody experienced it the same way.
It's it's so different and it's really hard to communicate one's feelings and perspective on the whole situation.
14:31
It's just it's not easy.
It never has been and it never will be and that's that I think in terms of an update.
14:46
So basically we're going to wait and see if there's any other alternative and if not, I will start making arrangements and I will let you guys know there's also OK on top of that wait.
15:06
On top of that, my family might actually be moving back to Connecticut.
That's kind of the plan.
So my goal was to go to Japan in April, but it may be pushed back if we are going to be moving again.
15:26
All of this is up in the air and it just seems like this year is going to be a great year in terms of like getting this shit done.
But it's also going to be really hectic and stressful and I guess I'm ready for it, you know?
15:43
I mean, I think I've been like preparing for this my whole life, but it is a lot.
So what else?
I feel like there's so much, but with that, that's like that.
16:00
An update about Sky is always good news.
I didn't have therapy this week because I was sick, I was travelling, but I am going back on Monday so I'm sure I'll have done more processing and I'll have more to talk about then.
16:26
So yeah.
Until then, guys, this has been therapy.
Notes Episode 15.